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Self-love is not something that you get in one day or two days. It’s an ongoing process, and I go through it every day.

Love is a small word that has a powerful meaning. But still, I wonder very often, how can such a small word have so much power? But also that shouldn’t be so strange, because Love is one of the most beautiful characteristics that God possesses, the Bible says For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 ” This sounds so unimaginable for people who don’t believe.

Scientifically there are different kinds of love such as:Agapa: (This kind of love focuses on the needs of the other and looks for what is best for the other), Metta: (this species is an unconditional love for all living beings),Caritas: (This kind of love that gives and does not expect anything in return, good cause) and Eros: (This kind of love is the whole of the feelings of love, it can also be seen as a form of sexuality where the emphasis is not directly on sexual intercourse but on the feelings around it, especially on building desire for sexual intercourse.) Despite all these types of love express themselves in different ways, remarkably they have something in common the soft and love for a gesture towards something. The Bible also says that love, Love is patient and full of goodness, love knows no envy, no vain display, and no selfishness or complacency, love never fails, love forgives, hope, love endures everything, love is not injustice 1 Corinthians 13: 4.

I think self-love isn’t some destination you get to and you are then incapable of feeling those feelings, but a journey in which you adapt your experiences to make for a happier life.

If you don’t believe in the Bible, but in scientific love, there is no reason not to have self-love, because these two kinds of love have a lot in common. Although giving love is something very beautiful, especially for those who know how to receive it well and they’re grateful for the love that is being deposited in them. Love makes everything around us more beautiful, it makes a person better, love can do a miracle, love gives life and hope, love gives strength to overcome every situation we are in. Love is so powerful that if we don’t have it in ourselves than we can literally break ourselves. There is nothing more beautiful than loving and being loved. Because if love isn’t a mutual feeling or an unrequited love, it can bring us many questions about ourselves and that can make us start to have doubts about our, beauty, body, which eventually makes us insecure. And without realizing it, we walk with thoughts that we don’t deserve to be loved by someone, and all for going through an experience of an unrequited love. Which we often don’t have any influence on the situation and in addition, unrequited love is a painful feeling to experience. This experience hasn’t always had to do with the feeling of love for a woman or a man, this can be a feeling that is transcended by our own family members, who don’t have the capacity to love us or accept us as we are.

My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another. I wish that more people, especially young people, were taught about self-love at a younger age.

Perhaps this unpleasant experience makes us realize that we can’t expect love from others if we can’t be satisfied our hearts with our own self-love. In my own experience, as soon as we start having feelings for our partner, we soon expect them to have the obliged to have the same feeling for us in return. Just because we love our partners. Maybe that is why unrequited love is so painful because we put many expectations in the feelings of others. Because human love can also bring a lot of disappointment, especially when we depend on it. If we are disappointed in love, then we have two choices to stay the same and stay broken or become a better version of ourselves by giving ourselves a dose of self-love. Because every bad experience that we experience with love bring us closer to ourselves so that we learn how to love ourselves more and more, it makes us aware of our own beautiful qualities and we start to see more of ourselves. What I mean by that, is that we expose ourselves to see our own self with naked eyes and that can be scary, but if we have the courage to discover the love that we have in ourselves  then we start to realize that there is no better love than the love you have for yourself (self-love). And that baby is not being selfish but is loving yourself.

Above all, be true to yourself, and if you can’t put your heart in it, take yourself out of it. The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else

Self-love doesn’t mean that you stop loving others no, it is a feeling that you begin to develop a valuable feeling towards ourselves. A feeling that makes us aware how important we are to ourselves and we start to put ourselves as a priority, by putting ourselves first, by taking good care of ourselves, by giving ourselves more attention, by expecting more love from ourselves than from others. By given ourselves compliments and not expect others to do it for us, but especially by being proud of the love we are given to ourselves and by fulfilling our own understanding and that is what happens with our unconscious when we finally discover what self-love can do to our well being. As much as giving love is also a very important characteristic, but self-love is even more beautiful because I believe that no one can love me love the way I love myself… Because I’m well aware that human love is a temporarily love and it has a tag price which can cust life.

Everything worth having costs something, and the price of true love is self-knowledge.

I give you a new commandment: love each other. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34



I hope you like it.  Have a beautiful day and may God bless you above all your  expectations <3
– HERCHAPTER – By Custodia Chineva-













  Hello loves! Welcome to my blog, that goes by de name herchapter. I'm Custodia and I was born and raised in Angola, I live more than 15 years in Holland. I want to welcome you into my little world, here you will get to know the creative side of my life. Herchapter is about my love for fashion, writing and read

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