While getting lost in all those little things that seem so important, don’t forget the little things that matter…

It is one thing to lose people you love. It is another to lose yourself. That is a greater loss. The worst way to lose is to lose yourself in a situation that you have no control over. But very often we don’t feel that way. Most people among us have lost a lot, perhaps a dear person, relationship, friends and even pet, these losses teach us a lot of things about ourselves, especially who we are but also how we can deal with this. Losing someone has a strong influence on the person himself and we all have a difference you deal when we are in such situation, we can lose someone that we both love dearly such  as (a kid, parents, friend), but each of us deal with it in a very different way with the loss. Although we love the same, our feelings can be very different during mourning. Because each of us is different and this makes us very special, we don’t have to feel the same for the same situation, the most important is that we understand and support one and other and we are there for each other in a moment in which we need affection and love.

The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart… And Once you lose yourself, you have two choices: find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely.

A few years ago I was totally lost, I had lost my mother. I no longer knew who I really was, I did everything to show people around me that everything was going well, but I wasn’t okay, I wanted to impress people that despite everything I went through it was all well with me, while it wasn’t, I often thought of drug all to numb the pain (fortunately never done) I have thought of walking away from everything around and go far away but couldn’t because I have a child for which I have full responsibility (my rescue) I no longer knew what to do, everything was far from my own strength, I had lost myself and the way that I used to be, so I did everything on an automatic pilot with or without logic.

All those years that I lived without my mother, I never thought that her death would have any effect on me. It’s stupid of me to have this kind of thoughts. I know that to die is enough to be alive because we are all on the way to death and nobody escapes from it. Even then, I never thought that one day my mother might die, I was not aware of it. Until I got the news and although I always had the feeling of being a very strong person and I have always been very convinced that I had already felt all the bad feelings of pain that exist in the world, everything changed when I lost my mother, it was an unexpectedly difficult pain and very personal. But I could not fully process my mother’s death because, except that I lost her, a lot of things happened around me that put me in an uncomfortable position, so I never gave myself the opportunity to mourn death from my mother.

You can run away from yourself so often, and so much, just because the broken pieces of you cut your feet too deeply if you stay around for too long. But then what if someone were to come along and pick up those pieces for you? Then you wouldn’t have to run away from yourself anymore. You could stop running. If someone sees you as something worth staying with— maybe you’ll stay with yourself, too.”

The worst thing you can lose in life is to lose yourself in a situation where you have no influence. Because there will a period where you are going to doubt everyone, who is really there for me? who are my friends and who can I trust? The unfaithful feeling will follow you and if you no longer have confidence in people around you, you find out soon that all you still have to trust is yourself and that is how you will discover and get to know yourself again. The best thing about losing is that there is always hope and you can discover yourself something very beautiful, as with everything after the rain the sun would shine and so is life too, you can cry, mourn, but it will not last forever it will pass and before you know it you will enjoy your own smile, your own friendship and so you build a friendship with yourself that no one can break.

Discover yourself and go on with your life and cherish all your memories, because you will never lose them and as long as you are alive you will carry them with you.
Every detail can bring a beautiful memory with it, and that is all in small things, as in the smell, food, sounds and smell of the sea, the bike ride, everything has a nice gesture to all your  Keeping your memory, even if you lose everything you will never lose your memory (if you do not get dementia). Finding yourself can start with small things like music and sound, smell and clothing. Accepting yourself and Loving yourself is a good way to start finding you again, no matter what happens in life as long as there is a desire for life the will always be a way for you to find your self in a very beautiful way.

Somehow, we’ll find it. The balance between whom we wish to be and whom we need to be. But for now, we simply have to be satisfied with who we are.”

hope you like it.  Have a beautiful day and may God bless you above all your  expectations <3
– HERCHAPTER – By Custodia Chineva-



  1. Bijzonder om te lezen. Vaak zijn deze periodes perfect om jezelf beter te leren kennen en vooral ook goed dat je jezelf weer gevonden hebt. Dat het nu beter met je gaat. Lijkt me vreselijk om je moeder te verliezen..

  2. Dank je voor je kwetsbaarheid! Mooi geschreven. Misschien is dat wel waar het leven om gaat, jezelf steeds weer verliezen en jezelf weer terug vinden..

    • Dank je wel voor het lezen, inderdaad misschien gaat het leven daar om jezelf verliezen en weer jezelf terug vind dan in een beter versie van jezelf, zo dat we ons kunnen blijven ontwikkelen in iets beter om een weg te vind om steeds langer gelukkig te zijn… dan je wel xxx

    • KLopt, ik heb veel berichten gekregen van mensen die zich ook herkennen in deze bericht, zo blij dat ik dit heb geschreven, dank je wel voor het lezen <3

  3. Accepting and Loving yourself… oh zo belangrijk om altijd te blijven doen, maar niet altijd gemakkelijk.

    • Dank je wel, dit hebt ik met tranen in me ogen geschreven vond ook eng om te publiceren, maar los laten heeft me gehoplen om dit te delen dank je wel xx

  4. Bijzonder hoe je het beschrijft denk dat veel mensen dt ook zo ervaren! Je ziet er iig voor mi altijd heel zonnig, vrol en posituef uit

    • Gevoelens verwoorden werkt voor me als therapie, hahahha klopt schijn kan bedrieg, maar ik voel me gelukkug weer mijzelf, super lief dat je het gelezen hebt dank je wel <3

  5. Ik snap helemaal hoe moeilijk dit moet zijn geweest en dat je jezelf kwijt raakt is zo begrijpenlijk. wat een mooie woorden heb je op gescheven.

    • Het was zeker een meoilijk periode in me leven maar het heeft me op een zeker zin ook gevorm naar wie ik een deel ben nu… dank je wel voor het lezen xxx


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