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Finding perfection in an imperfect world is an impossible task, especially if you expect it from yourself. The perfect life doesn’t exist, both for the rich and poor people it is simply impossible to meet a perfect image. Although that is what we all expect from each other especially for ourselves. Everything has to be perfect, especially for people around us, they shouldn’t find out that I have a problem with anything or that I can’t do something. Especially with all social media that has taken over everything by adding a filter to everything we plunge around the internet, beautiful ground, beautiful skin, beautiful hair, beautiful clothes and lux hotspots, luxury holidays and the list goes on. Sometimes it can all be overwhelming to meet all the demands and expectations that are unconsciously expected on social media especially on Instagram and in the society we live in.

I’m very inquisitive. I love hanging around people who can teach me. I ask a lot of questions. And I’m very introspective and self-critical.

Often when things go wrong we seek someone to blame, often it doesn’t force us to look first at ourselves before we blame someone else for something that didn’t go well. It’s probably because we only see ourselves as perfections and goodness and in others, we expect perfection and goodness so when something goes wrong, we immediately have our opinion ready for others. But our own share can also cause many things both good and bad. The growth is mainly due to a recognition of something the realization that we as humans are not perfect and that making mistakes is in our nature and unfortunately we can change that. But it recognizes that everything that does not go well in our lives is not always caused by others, because you lead your life and strangely has no influence until you let them too do so.

Although we all do our best in all areas both at work and at home and want to improve ourselves, and yet for my own development as a human being, I think it is important to leave room for constructive scratching. When I am critical to myself, I notice that it give myself the room to grow and I take everything by taking a step for change. Although I am also aware that I can always do things in a better way, so I take a constructive criticism very different when I myself is very different when I say it to myself than when someone else tells me there is always room for constructive criticism. You can get criticism in both a positive and a negative way, sometimes it can get very hard, especially when you just do your best to always correct yourself.

I try hard to always question myself and wonder, ‘What could I have done better? What did I do wrong?’ The culture at our company is to be self-critical, but you have to balance that as a leader with praise for your team.

As much as I like to receive compliments and good criticism. I had to learn myself how to look critically at myself. Not because I like to do it but it, I need it for my personal growth. As a human being, I quickly tend to blame others when the thing goes wrong or to quickly find mistakes in others. I had to learn to turn the mirror to myself and realize that I am also a human being and make mistakes in my nature and I can learn to live with it or I can use my own mistakes to develop myself and to do and be a better person for myself and for the society in which I live because I’m well aware that we all can use some kindness in the world we live in.

Although I’m also aware that I can always do things in a better way, so I take a constructive criticism very different when it comes from myself and it feels very different when I say it to myself than when someone else tells me. There is always room for constructive criticism. Even when it comes from others, I have also learned that I can get criticism in both positive and negative ways, sometimes it can get very hard, especially when I’m trying to do my very best to always correct yourself. 

I’m trying to be more organized, put together, and be more kind to myself. I’m really hard on myself and really just self-critical and always striving for this perfection which doesn’t exist.

It is very difficult to be critical of yourself, it can generate emotions that you are not open to, but it can also be something very therapeutic. It makes you more human but you mainly show more understanding to the people around you.

By looking at myself with a critical eye, I have learned to be more empathy for others around you, because I can also recognize myself in others. It has taught me to be more and more noisy with others, and that I can’t expect anything from approaching if I can’t give it to myself. And also by being critical to myself, I have also learned that I don’t have to have my judgment ready for others, because I never know what other people are going through, so their reaction doesn’t always have anything to do with me. It has also has taught me to take time before I make any decision. The more open I’m to acknowledge myself, the less I take the criticism from other as something negative and it feels less uncomfortable. But I always remind myself to also give myself compliments even when I don’t get from someone else. 

I am very self-critical, but that’s a good thing because it keeps me growing as a human being and as an influencer.


Espero que você goste. Tenha um dia bonito e que Deus te abençoe acima de todas as suas expectativas <3
– HERCHAPTER – Por Custodia Chineva-



  Hello loves! Welcome to my blog, that goes by de name herchapter. I'm Custodia and I was born and raised in Angola, I live more than 15 years in Holland. I want to welcome you into my little world, here you will get to know the creative side of my life. Herchapter is about my love for fashion, writing and read

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